A letter between a business executive (Bill) and an old friend of his from high school days (Jerry.) Bill is opening a chapter of his life, unfamiliar to his friend Jerry.
August, 2010
Jerry, It has been too long since we last connected and had a chance to share a few personal thoughts about life. Before I forget, many thanks to you and your wife for the kind note you sent after we lost our son Tad. It was hard to say good bye to a little guy who was less than a day old, but we still have the other three children to comfort us. It was very painful, yet Jennie is doing well and has recovered from the shock.
I also want to thank you for the congrats! message, after I was promoted to CHO at our company headquarters. Wow! Now I am on C level alley in the back of the building, where all the important stuff takes place. I must admit I miss the gang I hung out with for years, but you know the game, now I have to hang out with those who breathe air in the stratosphere. You know you actually have to wear oxygen masks up there as it gets a little thin. Something pushes the oxygen out of the rooms for some reason. Yet, you do feel you are on top of the world, like being on the top of Everest.
I am also writing this note to vent a little frustration I am having with my title and the work I have to perform on daily basis. It seems that as the CHO I am expected to make sure people do the up and up things correctly; then I am signaled to ignore a few less than up and up decisions made daily. And I do mean daily!
Have you ever felt like you were a token creature in a zoo? Here I sit with the nice office, where I can glance out at a very nice view of the country side and it smells like crap all around me. I think you know what I am talking about because we both grew up downwind of that old feedlot on the edge of town. Smell or no smell, my job is to serve as the humility pro.
When I started I wasn’t quite clear on what they wanted me to do. But, looking online, I discovered that all I had to do was make the company appear to be honest, straight-forward and open to its “vulnerableness.” Ok, I have achieved all of that, yet I find myself competing with the publicity and marketing people as well. Even the risk management and legal people get into the act. So, here is my problem. I want to do this job right and do the right job. But, there is a strange feeling sitting in the back of my head, which will not stop!
Am I fooling myself into thinking that I am really a CHO, or is this an act I must offer to the public every day I walk into the office and attend those glad hand events? I struggle with this, I truly do. Often I tell my wife how I wish I had followed your path in life. You are your own boss, granted it isn’t easy thinking about where your next check is going to come from, but you have taken great care of your family and it shows. Your kids are doing well, you can go home at anytime. OK, so you work out of your home. That is still important as I don’t go home until 7 or 8 most nights. That is just the way it is around here these days. But, I do envy your life and lifestyle. The money is fantastic and they want to give me more for doing less. (Off the record, that is a coded way of saying I am now part of the club.) I am tired and need to go home. More on this later on. If you decided to respond please send the message to my home email address or do as I did here, send it USPS, they need the business and I don’t trust our IT admin guys.
I guess you have proven once again that you were and will always be the smarter between the two of us. Again, I lose another bet from the past.
All right, that is enough belly aching. I just had to share those thoughts with someone outside of my corporate circle and who knows me better than anyone else on the planet.
Thanks for listening, Please send all my best to your family. Take care, from your buddy on the fast track, Bill
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Perspectives on Leadership for the 21st Century 